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by snarkysweetness



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Found Families, Gen, Mentions to Ward's Suicide Attempts, Second Chances, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkysweetness/pseuds/snarkysweetness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you help us finish taking Hydra down, you’re a free man.”</p>
<p>“No. I don’t want to go free; I just want to come home.”</p>
<p>In which you should break out the tissues.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> Just some speculation fic before the episode because I am so weak for CoulsonWard and I couldn’t help but throw in a bit of the others in.

“So…if I help you you’re just going to let me go? To live any life I want,” Grant asked, cautiously. He didn’t buy it. Sure, his escape had seemed too easy and a small part of him had hoped it was Coulson’s way of keeping him safe but this…What could be so important Coulson would be willing to do away with his code of justice?

Coulson shrugged and reached for his coat. “That’s what I said. This offer goes away once I walk out the door.”

He was bluffing, they both knew he was bluffing. Coulson needed him bad and he was trying to speed this up.

“Wh-“ Grant froze, knowing why. There was only one reason, no, scratch that, two reasons why Coulson would come to him for help. “She’s in danger.” It wasn’t a question. Coulson knew that no matter what he would help him when it came to Skye, so why hadn’t he lead with that?

Coulson stayed put which was his only indication that Grant was right. “Like I said, we need your help to get into Hydra and find List. And if you help us finish taking Hydra down, you’re a free man.”

Grant knew all about List and what he did to people like Skye. Fear settled in his gut. Sure, she’d shot him but he still…

His eye twitched.

No, he would not think about how he felt. He wasn’t an idiot. She hated him, there was no use in wasting time thinking about her. But he also couldn’t let her become a lab experiment.

“No.”

For the first time in a long time Grant witnessed Coulson loose his composure. “What? Do you want me to tell you what they could be doing to her? I don’t want to resort to that but-“

“I don’t want to go free.”

“I’m not in the mood for your games, Ward. I’ll get Skye back without your help-“

“I just want to come home.” Grant admitted in a quiet voice, ignoring Coulson’s lead-in to a tirade. His time in prison had been beneficial. He knew now Garrett had done nothing more than create his own monster. But Coulson wasn’t like that. And he’d been a part of his team, of a family, and yes he’d realized it too late and he knew nothing could go back to the way it was but he missed it. He missed the team, he missed Coulson, and yes, he missed _her_ too but that wasn’t the point.

Coulson did nothing but stare at him but not in the way he had when they were in the Vault and he had confessed he missed the team. This was…different; kinder.

“This is the only thing I know how to do,” he explained. Coulson didn’t need to know how much Grant loved everyone; that they were his weakness. How he’d been taught that love was a weakness but he realized now how wrong that was. All he needed to know was that he was loyal. “S.H.I.E.L.D. was my life. Hydra was just…John. I was never loyal to anyone but him, but S.H.I.E.L.D. is all I know how to do.” For a split second Grant swore he saw pride flash in Coulson’s eyes but he had to be wrong. Besides, it wasn’t like he had every made anyone proud, he didn’t know how that felt, so it had to be a mistake. “John made me a killer; I don’t see the point in wasting that skill set. I don’t know what I would do in the real world other than live in hiding. Just because you won’t put me in prison doesn’t mean the government won’t.”

Coulson’s mouth shifted from a very tiny smile into a scowl. “You’re more than what he made you to be, Grant.”

Grant shifted uncomfortably. Coulson had never first-named him before. And now Coulson was watching him closely, thinking. Grant averted his gaze, feeling like an idiot. He should have taken the deal instead of letting Coulson see through him like this.

“Say I agreed to let you come back…there will be conditions.” Grant’s heart began to race as he glanced up hopefully. “You have to do your therapy this time. I mean it; I want you in one-hundred percent.”

“Done.”

“That’s not all. If Fitzsimmons allow you to…you have to apologize. The others won’t hear it so I’m going to make them; when I tell the team you’re coming back you apologize to everyone but Fitzsimmons gets their own.”

Grant nodded.

“You don’t go near Skye; you don’t watch her like a puppy, you don’t speak to her, nothing. I forced her to speak to you and it was a mistake and I won’t make her go through that again.”

His chest ached but he nodded again anyway.

“And you have to earn out trust again; you’ll be tagged. Your communications will be monitored, you will wear a GPS tracker, and you won’t be allowed any weapon with an ICER unless we’re in the field. Once I feel confident you’ve really changed, that we can trust you, I’ll remove it.

Also; you are free to leave at any time. My original offer stands. If you want to walk away you will be debriefed and you can go; but if that happens and you ever kill anyone ever again-“

“You’ll put me down?”

Coulson smirked. “No, but I will make life very hard for you. And that goes for if you stay; no more killing unless it’s absolutely necessary, like with any other agent. That brings me to my final condition.” Grant sighed. What else? Wasn’t the fact he was going to be stuck in an organization filled with people who hated him enough? “You have to work on forgiving yourself.”

Grant stared at Coulson in shock. “What?”

“You’re right, you were just a kid. No one can erase what your family or John did to you. And you are responsible for your own actions but you can’t live in the past, Grant. If you really want to move forward and change then you need to learn to forgive them and yourself so you can get past it. I won’t have someone on my team who thinks he’s only useful as a killer. If that’s going to be your attitude then I don’t need you around. But if you can see you’re more than that then we’ll find other uses for you. You have many skills, Grant, you’re more than a trained killer.”

John had taught Grant emotion was weakness and he could count on one hand the amount of times he’d cried since; the day Gramsy had died, the day Skye had been shot, his first night in vault d, when he’d woken and remembered Skye had shot him, and the one time he’d allowed himself to feel the guilt for all of his sins and contemplated taking his own life in wake of destroying his family home.

But here he was, tears in his eyes because Phil Coulson still believed in him. And not only did he believe in him but he trusted him enough to save one of the two people he loved most; Skye.

At least they still had that in common.

Grant nodded, unable to speak.

“Good, now, let’s go before Hunter cleans out the bar.”

He knew it was supposed to be a joke but Grant didn’t laugh. He simply slid out of his booth and prepared himself to follow Coulson in whatever scheme he’d come up with.

Coulson reached out and for a moment Grant thought he was going to hug him and froze. Realization hit Coulson and he stopped himself and instead gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder. Grant almost sighed in relief. He wanted nothing more than to be the kind of person who could handle physical contact or affection, he probably needed a few good hugs, but he wasn’t there yet. He had been, once, but…Well, she had every right to hate him.

“I believe in you, son,” Coulson said quietly. “But I don’t give third chances, remember that.”

Grant nodded and followed Coulson past Hunter who seemed to be keeping watch, towards the Quinjet where the others were waiting.

“Oh, by the way, mate, you look him in the eyes and I’ll ice you,” Hunter warned.

“What?”

Coulson winced with a frown. “Oh yes, I should have mentioned-“ When the ramp fell Fitz was all Grant saw and the two stood awkwardly, facing off. Grant knew this was the moment but his throat was dry and he forgot how to speak.

“All right, then? What’s the hold-up; Skye isn’t going to save herself,” Fitz insisted, leaving it at that.

Grant shook his head with a smirk; maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as he thought it would be.


End file.
